Friday, December 4, 2009

Simply Living for Him

Living for Him is simply about that, living for Him every moment of every day.  On my sidebar I have posted what my blog is about and that is exactly true.
Years ago I was all about doing what everyone wanted me to do, I wanted to please my friends, my parents, my teachers, my family, I just felt like if I could please everyone they would like me and believe me I tried very, very hard.  I was a people pleasing person and felt I was letting everyone down if I didn't act a certain way or do things exactly the way others did it, it was very important for me to make sure and be what everyone wanted me to be.
I actually lived this way for many, many years.  Even after our children were born I wanted to make sure and do everything the way others thought we should.  
We lived in a very tiny house with only two bedrooms and one bath and I just knew that my in-laws were very disappointed because we didn't have a bigger home or more money to have nice cars, etc.  The small town we lived in was very nice although it was a town of old money and it is well known for a place for the rich to live, people would build million dollar homes on a tiny piece of land just to live in this town.  Of course we were not rich, nor did we live among them since we lived in the part of town where older smaller homes were, we lived on a dead end street with just a few neighbors and woods behind our home, it was a perfect setting to raise our littles and our neighbors were elderly and so sweet, we spent a lot of time visiting on porches while my littles did puzzles, etc.
For three years Dan had to work out of town, flying back and forth every week from Kentucky to the Dulles airport outside of Washington, DC so we had some very lean years while he was working out of town, this was supposed to be for only 6 months but when you work for the airlines you learn that their time line is much different from everyone else.
It was during this time that I developed clinical depression, directly as a result of being a single parent all week, working at a nursing home, teaching at mothers day out at our church and babysitting after school.  It was a rough time because we were literally having to keep up two separate homes, us in Kentucky and Dan in Virginia. 
Needless to say all that comes to a head and you realize something has to give, sadly it was my health...clinical depression affects not just your psyche but also your physical health.  I quickly went downhill and it took weeks and weeks to finally get to where I could function normally, which was not the normal I was up until then, I doubt I'll ever be that way again.  
It was during this time that I realized I was living for everyone else, we tried so hard to please everyone without thinking about living for Him, what a huge mistake.  I was brought to my knees during my poor health and realized that I had it all wrong, I needed to live for Him, not others.  Reading that I think 'well duh!!!' but it was a complete turnaround for me.  I began to make decisions based on the Word and stopped listening to everyone else, suddenly our lives started to slow down and things became much more peaceful...that's a lot of pressure you know, trying to please everyone!  
I now make sure that my decisions are not based on what everyone else is doing, I do not care at all about entertainers, actors, etc.  These are people just like us, we are to never put anyone on a pedestal, whether it's a preacher, priest, the pope, whatever, these are humans just like us.
It is Christ alone that I bow down to.  Today, tomorrow, every day for the rest of my life I live only to please Him.
The interesting part to this story is that none of the people we were trying to please really seemed to care one way or another, my in-laws loved me anyway no matter what, after we made our complete change of attitude they actually seemed to respect us and our decisions more and realized that they no longer had a say in how we lived our lives and raised our children.  
I'm so thankful that I was brought to my knees, it has helped me so much in life, our decision to homeschool was shot down by everyone except my brother, everyone else thought it was crazy.  Well, our grown children are some of the most respectful, kind and caring people I've ever met.  My one suggestion to those raising their families now or in the future is to focus only on Him, He will guide you to where you need to be.

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